There’s something to be said about taking the time to recognize the intricacies of feelings and the bond it has to moments. Some moments in life kindle feelings so transparent, you can immediately fathom; while others stimulate emotions so opaque and complex that requires a little sitting down and reflecting to grasp. Often, the turmoil and chaos of life turns us oblivious to our emotion and time prevents us from being able to differentiate between the two. Here’s a feeling that has emerged as of late:
The Feeling I get when thinking about the future
The older I get, the more I become aware that life is fleeting. I can no longer be the reckless young girl I was yesterday. “I wish you would stay this young forever”, My mom told me. “I will”, I told her, without realizing that I had made a promise that was destined to be broken. I think I was more than anything forced to learn about the harsh responsibilities that come with growing up. Often, I would find myself staring at the dull ceiling, which at times seems remarkably intriguing, or the vast sky, thinking about what would happen when I graduate from high school: the choices that I will make and where I would end up. Moments like this sparks a feeling of anxiety, uneasiness and some that interrupts the usual rhythm of my heart. However, I have learned that time doesn’t delay and moments can pass in the blink of an eye. Instead of stressing about the future, I should be relishing the present. Ergo, I plan to savor every bit and moments I have in the present and not overthink about the future. I plan to push myself to create purposeful poems and to do more reflective writing like this one; with the goal of making myself feel like I am making the most of the time that I have. The future is an enigma; no one knows what it holds, yet, we can make calculated decisions in the present, to at least have a fraction of control over what our future will look like.